Finally come to some senses....

I've been feeling really down the past week. Especially since i came back to abu dhabi. There seemed to be nothing much tat i can do except to let my mood heal by itself. But i have been feeling from bad to worse when i'm all alone in my apartment and no one to confide.

Went for the infamous Cairo flight yesterday night. Did Cairo before a few weeks ago and it was indeed a horrible experience. But to my amazement, it was a suprisingly pleasant flight. With most of the guest to be indonesians on the way up and most of the guest not having their meal, due to ramadan, on the way back, our flight turned out to be a not-at-all-Cairo flight.

I had a pleasant time with the crew as well, helping each other most of the time. I almost fainted half way through service on the first sector, reason yet to find out, therefore my colleague volunteered to do some of my tasks for me and forced me to take my meal. I thought it was really nice of her. I felt better when i was on flight, as it was a good flight and also becos i won't have time to think about negative thoughts.

But after i reached home, thoughts started building up in my mind again. I can't help me. Thought tat i might be having depression, as i was really upset about everything. I got to find out a msg that dear's batch girl sent him and i was really affected by it. Gave me a feeling that she was trying to sow discord. I dun know the real reason to the short msg yet, thus i shall not jump into conclusion, but at that point in time, i really broke down. Lucky thing is, Junie managed to come to my rescue.

She called me after we chatted awhile on msn. and we had a good talk abt our relationships with our boyfriends. Amazingly she managed to put some senses into my paranoid mind. I should just stop interfering brian's private life and trust him to do watever he's doing. if he can be affected by others so easily then it just shows that our relationship is not meant to be. I am learning not to look back at the happy memories and feel sad about the current state of our relationship, on the other hand, i should look ahead and move towards the direction that will make me happy so that i'll have more wonderful memories i the future...

No matter wat happens, it's gonna be about me, not him or us or anyone else....